testimony

I haven't posted for a long time. I need to get back in the groove I guess.
I wrote out this little part of my testimony and thought I would stick it in here. Just a little history.

I thought I would take a step and open myself up a bit to my journey on head coverings. I don't usually go around explaining where I am at on this, as it's sort of a personal thing. But I also would like to write down my thoughts for future reverence.
A bit of my testimony, is always a good thing to have in writing anyways.
I had accepted Christ when I was 10 yrs old. It was the Jesus movement, and it was the popular thing to do. Yet it was a decision I thought out, decided I wanted to accept Christ and never purposely turned back. But in all truth, I didn't know what I was doing. I was baptized in a bikini, in the ocean in 1972. As the yrs went on, summer camps, church about 6 times a week (my parents were very involved) later going to school at the church school, I was truly raised in the church. There was a time when I was 11 years old at camp, that the Holy Spirit was so strong on me, I could think of nothing more enjoyable then to pray and sing.
Ages 14-18 I had God as a part of my life, but I was basically doing my own thing. Getting married, having a baby, moving up north. After we were settled up north, we began to go to church again. The pastors wife and I really hit it off. There was something very different about her. She was living her life, for God and with God. He was why she was living. I had God as part of my life, but he wasn't everything. Being around her got me hungry for God. I began to pray more, read the bible with a new understanding. I never had stopped reading the bible, but I just did it out of duty. It's sort of a funny side note, how people say if you wear a head covering or dress a certain way that you are legal. But for me personally I was much more “legal” back then. I read the bible every day because I had to in order to stay a Christian. There was no heart in it, it was a law for me. Wearing dresses and a head covering has always been a joy to me. Being legal is something in ones heart, you cannot judge someone’s outward appearance or actions and decide if they are legal or not.
So I was 18 yrs old, and truly learning who God was. Even though by this time I knew the bible very well, it was like I was reading it for the first time. I ate it up everyday with a hunger of a newborn baby. One day I came across 1st Corinthians. 11. As I read it, I began wondering why we don't take these verses literally. Why don't we wear a head covering, at least to church? I went and asked my pastors wife and she quoted what she had been taught; That was for back then, because they needed to see the difference between a prostitute and a Christian. Because everyone dressed the same. Well even as she said it, I thought, I don't agree with that. We shouldn't throw something out of the bible because we think it's not for today. There is a lot of symbolism in the bible and these things are important. But who was I to say I disagreed. I'm the new Christian, and she is the pastors wife, who at that time, I thought knew everything. So I didn't pursue my first thoughts from the scriptures and left it be. Many yrs later, 1983 or so we began to use Mennonite curriculum to teach Martha homeschooling. Of course the subject of head coverings was brought to my attention since Mennonites wear them. We really liked a lot of the doctrines of the Mennonites. Except for a few things, one, being the head covering. By that time I was well immersed in the thinking of the Protestants on this. Long hair, husband etc is your covering. You don't need to actually wear an extra cloth on your head for the symbol. You just need to have the authority in order; it's what’s in your heart that matters. Of course there is some truth to that, but then if we take that thinking too far we could throw out baptism and communion too. Symbols, are they important in our day and age still?

We went into YWAM and had a burden for Russians. We were praying about somehow doing mission work to Russia, but at that time it was communist. We read a lot of Russian literature. I noticed many of the Russian Christians covered their heads and I began to think again about this, but quickly dismissed it being sure in my current doctrines.
We had to move to for Rick's job again and I wanted to meet some Mennonites. We went and visited a church in the Portland area. We were visiting after dinner and one of the ladies asked me what I thought about the head covering. Mennonites generally are very blunt about doctrinal subjects! Well I told her my view, and she asked me "would you mind just praying about it once?" I told her I would, and that's all she said.
So on our way home that evening, out of duty because I said I would, I began to pray about head coverings. Before I hardly had started the prayer God brought to mind the time when I was a new Christian. It was a revelation to me. I had totally forgotten about that time. Yet it was in my mind now, so real, like a vision almost. I knew God had spoken to me. Oh dear now what! Do you know how hard it is to put a piece of cloth on your head?
So I began to wear a head covering out of obedience, and it was hard for me. But as I obeyed, God began to bless me. I noticed people treating me different, I enjoyed a special thing between God and me with this symbol on my head. It meant more to me then a cloth, it became my special convenet with God, something that just says I love you and want your ways.
Over the years I have questioned when to where it. Is it just for church, or for all the time? At times I even wore it to bed, because I wanted to pray all the time, now I always wear it to church and sporadically otherwise. The only thing I'm sure about is that at least in church meetings, but it has become to me more of a covenant or a special symbol for me. Not so much for a sign to others any more, just a special thing between God and me. I love to pray, I love to be with God all the time. I love to have the symbol on my head that I am His and He is mine and I love to talk to Him. It is a symbol in my heart that I accept God's way. His authority structure. He's in charge of all, and so powerful, so Holy. When you go before a Holy God, it's easy to feel uncovered. Putting that little piece of cloth on my head is only a slight sign of telling God you are holy and I want to reverence you, respect you and your ways.
So for me, I don't necessarily feel like the head covering is for every Christian woman, I just know it's a special thing for me. I don't have to wear it; I love it because I love to be with God.